Speaking Power: It's About Shedding, Not Acquiring^©

by Melissa Lewis
www.upsidedownspeaking.com

One of my favorite books is The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. It’s about awakening and nurturing creativity in all its forms. (I like her point that making great soup is just as much a creative expression as creating a great painting, but that’s a subject for another article.) What struck me most was her description of how non-artists misunderstand the nature of creativity. We non-artists look at creative people with envy, believing that the artist has something we don’t have. “Wow, what great talent he has. I have no talent whatsoever,” or “She’s such a great dancer. I wish I had been born with that kind of gift.” But we’re making a wrong assumption. According to Cameron, artists don’t have something the rest of us lack; rather, they have removed the barriers to the natural creativity that’s available to all of us. Artists don’t have something extra; the rest of us do, in the form of barriers and limiting beliefs. If you want to be more creative, an artist would tell you to work on shedding what’s getting in the way, rather than trying to add something you don’t possess already.

I believe the same is true when it comes to speaking confidence. For years I’ve seen people struggle anxiously, believing that if only they had the right technique or had been born with the gift of gab, they would be able to speak confidently and powerfully. They spend years going to classes and coaches, reading books and studying great speakers, searching for that elusive something extra that, once acquired, will make them powerful speakers. In 18 years in this business, I’ve never met anyone who found that something extra outside of themselves. Of course practice and some well-chosen techniques can help, but as with creativity, I believe true authentic speaking power comes by shedding what’s in the way of your power, not by adding something you think is missing.

Think about the times when you’ve been powerfully influenced by another’s words. Were they always great orators with lots of fancy techniques, polished moves and slick, rehearsed delivery? When I ask that question of my participants, they often answer that the most powerful speaking situations were when the speaker dropped all the b.s. and razzle-dazzle and just spoke from the heart. Powerful communication is when everything else falls away and all that’s left is the truth. In this complex, multimedia, multitasking, hyper-busy world we live in, a simple message, conveyed with honesty and authenticity, can be far more powerful than the fanciest PowerPoint show. 

So what is this stuff that’s in the way? What are these barriers we need to shed to let our power through? Here are some barriers I’ve noticed over the years, along with examples of the types of questions that pop into our heads while they’re blocking our power:

• Ego: (“How do I look?”, “Do they like me?”, “I’d better not screw up or I’ll look like a doofus!”)
• Politics: (“How will this affect my career?”, “How can I protect my turf?”, “How can I derail Johnson before he challenges me?”)
• Self-Doubt: (“Why am I here? I have nothing of value to say”, “I’m no good at this”, “I can’t do this.”)
• Self-Flagellation: (“You idiot! You forgot your best statistic!”, “You said ‘um’ again! Stop it!”)
• Manipulation: (“How can I get them to do what I want?”, “This’ll get ‘em for sure!”, “I’ve got ‘em right where I want ‘em.”)
• Masks: (“I can’t let them see that I’m nervous”, “Do I look the part? I’m in trouble if I don’t!”, “I’ll just have to fake it ‘til I make it.”)
• Technology Overload: (“My slides are too ‘blah’. I’d better add some whirling, psychedelic graphics!”, “Hmmm, I’ll point with the laser pointer with my right hand, operate the air mouse with my left, use my elbow to start the DVD and my nose to start the MP3 sound files.”)
• Choreography/Rules: (“Take two steps between points.”, “Gesture with my right hand, not the left.”, “Take off the jacket at the 3-minute mark.”, “Don’t put my hands in my pockets.”)
• Competitiveness: (“This presentation stinks compared to Sue’s.”, “At least I’m better than that guy.”)
• Imitation: (“Martin Luther King paused for 2.5 seconds before an important point. I’ll do that too.”, “Ronald Reagan used lots of humor. Let’s see . . . What were some of his jokes?”)
• Perfectionism: (“Twenty or thirty more rehearsals and I should have this down pat.”, “I’d better memorize all of this. I don’t want them to see me referring to notes.”)